I’m falling apart
I️ just want to cry all the time but I️ can’t 
My tears sit there they won’t come out 
Not cause I’m not sad enough 
I️ guess they’re just waiting for the trigger 
The moment where I️ swell up and explode 
Pouring torrents down my face and flood out everyone around me
We’re all drowning
This weight is so heavy and I’m just so tired of feeling like this 
I️ dug a hole in the back of my head 
Like a little tunnel I️ crawl through to escape the problems at the fore front of my mind 
I️ read and watch movies and try to do anything besides think 
Cause when your demons are controlling the mainframe and you start having a brain storming session 
Well 
You can guess how that turns out 
I️ told Logan I’d stop cutting myself
Though I️ don’t see what the problem is 
I’m not crazy 
It’s on par with smoking a cigarette or drowning your sorrows with whiskey 
Atleast I’m monitoring the damage I’m doing atleast I️ can control it 
And god I️ just want to let go 
Fucking cry cry cry 
I️ feel so much pain but I️ feel so dead too 
Numb 
Heavy numbness  
Dull
Not needles
Not knives 
Just heavy burning heat and pressure
Just my heart is asleep and it’s waking up 
Ants under my skin burning alive 
I️ want to go home 
I️ want to stab myself
 and carve out the rock weighing down inside me 
I️ want to go home 
I️ want to fall apart 
I️ want to go home 
Home home 
I can put my address in a gps
But I’m always lm looking for home 
It’s a feeling of warmth
Light happy warmth
And love 
Somewhere far away
Not here 
Not here